And you’re in college too? The feeling can be worse than showing up to class late and being embarrassed by your professor, or even looking at the syllabus one night to realize that a huge project or test is going to take place in a few hours.
Our generation has grown up in the social media era and we’ve certainly matured a lot faster than prior generations. From changing your relationship status on Facebook to showing your friends and followers your dates on Instagram, we live in a time of 24/7 public knowledge for all. Moreover, it seems we all expect to have had our first kiss and have been in a relationship or two by college. But why?
Nowadays, it feels like a relationship is a defining factor of a person; in a way, you get this feeling from everyone that if you are in a relationship or have had your first kiss, then you are lucky that someone else found you appealing and that you’re “experienced.”
In an attempt to answer my own question, I asked a few fellow FIT students to share their stories and opinions about not having had their first kiss yet.
Tiffany, a Communication design major, often finds herself feeling judged when she tells people she hasn’t had her first kiss yet. “I think people may think I’m too uptight….In high school, I was always in the “late bloomers” group. And now, I really don’t know what to think.” Additionally, like many others, she feels “pressured to “get it over with’” and sometimes wonders “if I’m just not desirable.”
On the flip side, Lindsay, a Fashion Design major, doesn’t fret about feeling judged “because I don’t care what people think, but I don’t think anyone else cares either because most people are consumed with themselves.” Lindsay said and added “I do think certain people find it odd and you can tell in their facial expression or their voice.” In regards to this generation being more sexually active than others, she observes, “I don’t think people really change from generation to generation but I feel that the exposure of that particular generation does change. With social media, I think it is exposed much more but in other generations people were young and sexually active too. People say our generation is more about hook ups but that’s been happening for a long time.”
Also, it’s interesting to look at first kisses from a cultural point of view. Fate, an Illustration major, told me that she didn’t feel judged for not having had her first kiss yet, as “coming from a quite different culture than the US, I suspected most of my peers hadn’t had their first kiss before college.” She added that she barely felt judged at all and before she entered college, “I hardly ever thought about romance.” In her opinion, she does find this generation to be more sexually active and said “people used to go through a considerable amount of courting before getting down to a sexual relationship. The younger generation is getting more and more ready to jump right into it.”
When I asked about feeling pressured to just “get the kiss over with” Lindsay finds herself free of that “because a lot of people I know haven’t kissed anyone either and again, most people are more concerned about their own kissing status.”
And Tiffany added, “But in the end, I think a first kiss should be saved for someone special.”
So to answer my own question from before, there is nothing bad about being inexperienced. Of course, sometimes you get this feeling of wanting to have had that first kiss or questioning if you’re “desirable” or not, but remember that just because you haven’t, doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of it. If anything, maybe one Saturday night as you’re watching Friends, you’ll lean over and have your first kiss.